The Consistent Coach Podcast

Beliefs That Keep Us Stuck in Burnout

June 06, 2020 Stacie Mitchell Episode 2
The Consistent Coach Podcast
Beliefs That Keep Us Stuck in Burnout
Chapters
The Consistent Coach Podcast
Beliefs That Keep Us Stuck in Burnout
Jun 06, 2020 Episode 2
Stacie Mitchell

Feel stuck in a burnout cycle? Today's episode digs into the top 5 beliefs keeping you stuck in burnout and why they keep you from moving forward.

Show Notes Transcript

Feel stuck in a burnout cycle? Today's episode digs into the top 5 beliefs keeping you stuck in burnout and why they keep you from moving forward.

Hello friends! I hope you all are doing well. I’m going to start pretending like I’m talking to all my closet friends when we begin, because who doesn’t want to do that? I don’t know when you’re listening but it’s starting to get warm here in NC, which is both good and bad since we’re gearing up to move next week! But we’re excited for a new community, and a nice yard for Bodhi Boy -- the cutest dog in the world --if you don’t believe me, come follow me on Instagram @staciemitchell - I swear you’ll change your mind! 

Today, I want to cover the top 5 beliefs that keep us stuck in a burnout cycl

Before we we get into the beliefs, I want to talk about the typical cycle I see my clients go through. The majority of my clients come to me after burning out more than once. Many of them didn’t even know that’s what was happening the first time around. 

We'll start the cycle with you feeling totally burned out and exhausted.

What most of us do is take a break or rest for a bit or we even switch jobs.

When we start to feel better, we begin to overwork again, our habits come back, and we build back up to burnout all over again. We think we're doing the right thing to keep making progress faster, because we don’t want to do the inner work -- we think it’ll slow us down and keep us from moving forward - but we're actually making our burnout worse and worse with each cycle, and making it harder and harder for us to ultimately heal it because we’re deepening our habits and beliefs. 

This cycle doesn't work because you aren't fixing the underlying reason behind your issues with burnout. You can't heal the burnout cycle without changing the stories and beliefs keeping you stuck in overwork, perfectionism, people pleasing, and trying to prove yourself through your work. You can't heal burnout until you fully believe you are worthy regardless of your work and productivity and until you can set boundaries that honor your energy and values.

It’s just not possible. And while I recognize that organizations and leaders are at fault too, coaching helps individuals like you to take their power back. This is what I do as a coach - I give you your power back. When you play the victim, nothing changes. You can make your own life an example of what is possible.

Now that I’ve been on my soapbox, let’s jump into the top 5  beliefs that are keeping you stuck in burnout.

#5:  No one else can do it.  This is when you think that no one else can do your job. No one else understands what you do, how to do it, and there’s no point in trying to explain it to someone. I often hear that you don’t have enough time to delegate, that it’s too complicated to explain to someone else, that you can’t delegate for a long laundry list of reasons.

And if we’re honest with ourselves it also just  feels good to be in control and to know we’re needed -- until it sucks all of the life out of us. Something else that comes in here is whether we actually have to do it at all. And for women especially, I think we can set our standards so high - for how clean the house needs to be, for making meals, just...all of the things, that not only can no one else do our job, they also can’t do our job AT HOME. And we wonder why we feel so stressed out! 

#4: I have to work hard to be successful -- meaning -- I have to work long hours, I can’t make mistakes, I must be perfect.

Many of us equate how hard we work with how successful we are, but really, it’s not the number of hours you work in any job that actually matters -- it’s the amount of value you provide. If you’re able to consistently create results for your company or in your business and provide incredible value - you don’t need to work more hours. You don’t need to feel terrible to do well at work. In fact, the most successful people I know don’t work a crazy amount of hours, they just know what to focus on to have the most impact in their work. And the ability to provide creative  solutions comes from two things: the ability to manage your mind and the ability to take breaks to refresh your physical body -- including your brain. Our brains were never meant to problem solve all day every day. We need breaks and sleep and movement to perform well at work. If you want to be more successful and work less, you have to take care of yourself mentally and physically -- success will elude you if you ignore those two things. 

And the second piece of this is: What do you ultimately want from your success? While it’s not bad to want it, some of us use outward success as a replacement goal for something deeper that we need that we want to avoid digging into. Maybe we actually want love, or approval, or acceptance, but we think more money and success will bring that to us. Maybe we just want freedom!  

#3: “There is better than here.” This is a common belief for more than just work. This is for those of you who think your life is going to be perfect when you reach a goal. For example, you think life will be great once you buy a house, or get married, or have a baby, or find success in your business, or switch your job. For some reason, so many of us have this idea that once this magical thing happens to us that we’ll live happily ever after forever and ever. I’ve always loved a fairy tale, but let’s be real, even princes fart in bed. And it’s the same for new jobs, graduating from school, any big event in our lives only takes us into a new portion of our lives -- it’s not a magical antidote to suckiness. 

And when we’re constantly thinking that the next thing is going to be so much better, it’s practically impossible to appreciate the present moment. All we can think about is how much the present moment sucks and we want out of it so we can get on to our new amazing lives where we have no problems! And in case you’ve never heard it before: it’s important to note that no matter how great our lives are, they will still be 50/50 -- that’s just life. There is no such thing as life without pain. But we do get to choose how we react to life.

#2: I have no choice. -- This might also sound like, “I’m stuck” or “there’s nothing I can do” or “I have no options”

I see this in so many people in the world. They keep telling themselves that it’s hopeless. Maybe they get paid really well and they just don’t see how they could get paid that much at another company or in a different job.  Maybe they don’t think they can get out of the industry they’re in -- they think they don’t have any other skills or that it will just be too hard. Maybe they don’t get paid enough and they’ve been underemployed for years. One of my past clients came to me because she couldn’t find a job as an event planner -- she was doing a ton of side gigs and not making enough money and had been searching for a full time role for over a year. And after just a month of working with me as her coach, she found a job. And it really came down to just this one thing: Her belief. It was all about her belief in herself and her belief in what was possible. She’d lost her belief. When she got it back, she got a job. I know that may sound a little woo-woo to some of you, but if you don’t think something is possible for you, it’s impossible for you to take the right actions to make it happen. Why would you try if you think it’s hopeless

But let me say this: If you believe you don’t have a choice, you create no options for choices. You are so stuck on seeing yourself as the victim, that you can’t be the creator of your life. Instead of focusing on solutions, you focus on everything that holds you back. 

#1: There’s too much to do, I’m too overwhelmed.  This thought is what causes overwhelm and keeps you stuck in a pattern of never getting the right things done. What this usually means is that you haven’t given yourself the time to plan and strategize. It’s really easy to get sucked into an overwhelm tunnel where you can’t focus on what’s actually important, where you’re just putting out fires all of the time. And you wonder where all your time goes and nothing seems to get done and you feel out of control and completely exhausted.

And maybe you do have a ton of things to do, but until you can take a step back and look at everything strategically, and using the rational, planning part of your brain, can you begin to figure out what’s actually necessary to do in the first place. 

So many of us get locked into habits, of doing work that doesn’t make any difference, only because we never take a moment to prioritize, to reflect, and to evaluate what work makes the biggest difference for our goals. 

In summary, 5 beliefs that are keeping you stuck in burnout are

No one else can do it.

I have to work long hours to be successful and make a lot of money.

There is better than here.

I have no choice.

There’s too much to do, I’m overwhelmed.

Next week, I’m going to talk about thoughts to believe, and how to start shifting your mindset so you can be more resilient and begin to break out of exhaustion and burnout. I promise you that this work can completely change your life. 

In the meantime, if you enjoyed this episode, please give me a review over on iTunes. In fact, if you review, send a screenshot to [email protected] to be entered to win a $50 Amazon gift card (I'll draw a name when I hit 20 reviews - whether or not they emailed me a screenshot -- those are good odds! And please know it does NOT have to be a 5 star review to win! I want your real honest feedback on what you’d like to hear on the podcast. 

Have a great week! Bye friends!